December 15, 2014


Runners have been called crazy, they’ve been called overly dedicated, and they’ve been called masochistic. But after hearing a few of these stories, there’s one more word that you may have not thought of: comedians.

The following are a collection of stories from our SKORA Insiders and, from what they tell us, are all completely true.

Our first story has Mike Spangler attempting to impress his now-wife with his creek-jumping skills. Classic case of “hey watch this!” (he even said it!) and, well, let’s have Mike tell the rest.

My now-wife and I, dating at the time, were out jogging. We came upon a creek in the park and I thought to myself “I can jump that.”

So, trying to be cool, I say to my wife “hey, watch this!”

I get my running start, try to push off on a soggy piece of land and…didn’t jump. My one leg sunk and I fell into the creek, covering myself in mud and water. I’m very lucky she still married me after that!

We hope you didn’t ask for a hug after, Mike. Our second story may not resonate as well with the fellas, but we’re betting every lady knows exactly how Emilie Reas felt.

I was training for my first marathon and hadn’t learned about chafing yet. Halfway through my long run, I started feeling some pain on my inner thighs.

I made it through a miserable 16-miler, but only with blood dripping down my inner thighs. Let me tell you, this is a very embarrassing place for a woman to have visible blood!

Ouch, Emilie. We all feel your pain and a little over half of us feel your embarrassment.

Our last story is from Sarah Beth Houser, who managed to likely break a law or two, lose a few memories, and, well, we’ll let her tell the rest.

I did Warrior Dash a couple years ago. I was there by myself and it was a long way from my house, so I used GPS on my phone to get there.

I get there and the bag check line is really long, but I spot that my chiro had a tent and was doing ART and stuff for the runners, so I say hi. He works on my IT Band a bit, and before I head off to the race, I ask him if I can stash my phone and keys in his tent. He says ok, but laughs and says I better lock my phone or he will go through my pictures. I enable the password I always use.

I go do my mud run and come back to his tent, say bye, and get my phone. It was freezing cold that day, so I bypass the hose-down area. I am trying to unlock my phone as I walk to my car, but it won’t unlock. I try again and again until it locks me out. Awesome. I couldn’t even access the GPS to get home.

I get to my car and realize I didn’t bring a change of clothes. Um. Yeah. I didn’t to get my Mini all muddy, so I take a look around and see no one in the parking lot. I strip down naked and throw my muddy clothes in the hatchback. I run commando, so all I had to wear was the tshirt they gave me for the race and it was really tight and short.

Then I realize I had to pee, but I couldn’t go back to the port-a-potty since I only had a short shirt on. Not my proudest moment, but I squat down by my car to pee.

I am driving home —no GPS — hoping I don’t get pulled over because I’m naked. I get to my house and pull into my driveway, in front of my house. I make a mad dash from my driveway, across my yard, up the sidewalk, and to the porch. Naked.

I ended up having to have Sprint reset my phone, which wiped all my pictures, contacts, etc.

To recap: I was muddy. Naked. Had to pee in a parking lot. Had to run outside naked. And had my phone wiped out.

I haven’t ran another obstacle race since.

Photo courtesy Black Hills Trail Running Series.


size chart


5.0 2.5 35.0 21.5
5.5 3.0 35.5 22.0
6.0 3.5 36.0 22.5
6.5 4.0 36.5 23.0
7.0 4.5 37.0 23.5
6.0 7.5 5.0 38.0 24.0
6.5 8.0 5.5 38.5 24.5
7.0 8.5 6.0 39.0 25.0
7.5 9.0 6.5 40.0 25.5
8.0 9.5 7.0 40.5 26.0
8.5 10.0 7.5 41.0 26.5
9.0 10.5 8.0 42.0 27.0
9.5 11.0 8.5 42.5 27.5
10.0 9.0 43.0 28.0
10.5 9.5 44.0 28.5
11.0 10.0 44.5 29.0
11.5 10.5 45.0 29.5
12.0 11.0 46.0 30.0
12.5 11.5 46.5 30.5
13.0 12.0 47.0 31.0

Measurements refer to body size, not garment dimensions. In instances where your body measurements are in between two sizes, go with the smaller size for a tighter fit or the larger size for a looser fit.